he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
birth control should be required to get into college
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
