youre lurking in front of me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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