You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity