Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I would fuck him just for his dog