just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.