He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
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i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.