i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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