1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize