there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
