He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
