I want to stick my p in your. b.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
