i need an iv and a liver transplant
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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