Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
