The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
