Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
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