What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
