We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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