so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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