one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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