I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize