But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
