I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
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on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
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And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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