At least make sure they are 18
Why
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Randomize
