Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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