I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize