I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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