Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize