sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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