Sry I called you an 8
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
