She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
