I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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