so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
