I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It was confusing and full of hummus
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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