There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
