I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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