oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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