We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
