To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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