we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
