So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
