Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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