How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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