Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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