kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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