He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
