Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
