I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize
