I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
