there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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