the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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