remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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