We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
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It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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