I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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