Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
