I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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