i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
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Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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