I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
