i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
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She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
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Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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