and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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