the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
