you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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