sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize