i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
